Saturday, July 2, 2011

Discussing debatable matters: Open ended questions to learn about without offending!

By Martin Paul


Regardless of whether you're in a room or perhaps in a social gathering, an interesting discussion might end suddenly, with hurt or offended people and no one wiser for the exchange. Even if you might be genuinely interested to know as well as learn alternate points of view, you need to first acquire the ability of asking open ended questions. You can frequently find these on Bibles like Bibles for Children.

Well meaning people can destroy everyone's chances of being familiar with a topic of social debate, because they don't have the skill. Effective and also careful utilization of rhetoric, coupled with an open ended question strategy, can open the door to a exciting and comprehensive dialogue where everybody gains.

As an example, let's say you're at a social gathering, excited to get to know some new and remarkable people. Debatable issues tend to be, on some level, delicate in nature. You have relatives in the breakaway state of Russia therefore have some other points of views of the reality of the current Russian reputation. You start a dialogue with a history professor using the following statement. "I think it's just horrible how the Russians sent troops into Georgia, harming innocent people! What do you think?"

Unless you know the disposition or perhaps sentiments of that professor, you might have put your foot in your mouth. You've initiated the discussion by stating your opinion in advance. What happens if that professor is a Russian immigrant, with strong reactions on the Russian situation? You have successfully divested yourself of understanding several important historical information that might shed some light on the situation. Once this educated person gets offended, the discussion may be brief and uninformative.

However, provided the identical situation, posing an open ended question does not imply conflict or prejudice from you. You might ask, "You happen to be a history professor and I was interested to learn more about the situation in the Georgian conflict. What is behind this?"

This alternate approach does not express your position, besides one of ignorance. While the professor may have a bias, he or she is not going to think of you being an opponent and will also be flattered that you appreciate what they already know. It's immaterial whether or not this person agrees with you. Your target is to understand what they think and know, how they got to their conclusions and grow more knowledgeable in the process.

Another example of the open ended question, used in a strictly social context might concern a controversial film. "Have you seen Michael Moore's 'Sicko'? I think that guy's a nut and disgracefully unpatriotic, don't you?" You've stated your point, putting the individual you are asking in a potentially awkward lurch. Not everybody of the contrary standpoint will probably be rude adequately enough to tell you off. A further loss for you!

What about, "Have you seen 'Sicko'? I'm concerned regarding his take on the medical situation. It is getting lots of press." These kinds of examples on the use of open ended questions can be a bit heavy handed, but deliberately so. You will see the value of learning, without the need of offending.




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