Vin Diesel is a talented actor. But, when I happened upon Disney's sorry excuse for padding its executive bonuses, The Pacifier, I wept. Well, I didn't really weep, but I saw a young man's career flushed down the toilet. I saw the dirty non-secret of Hollywood in action: it lures you in, promises you the world, then forces you to prance around in a tutu for your daily bread.
You'd be hard-pressed to find a more charismatic actor. Diesel has that elusive quality all great actors have: charisma. He's proved it in every picture leading up to The Pacifier. It was palpable in Saving Private Ryan, XXX, Fast and the Furious, and The Chronicles of Riddick. He has all the necessary ingredients to become the next big action star, on par with Stallone or Schwarzenegger.
The old adage seems to ring true: everyone has a price. And I wonder what Diesel's price for this flop was. I mean, he showed up, he read his lines, hit his marks -- he even tries to ham it up and make the film more than it is. But the problem isn't how hard Diesel tries, but how miscast he is. Ultimately, this reeking flop speaks for itself. And what does it say? Not much. It just echoes Kindergarten Cop and ends up stinking.
The story casts Diesel as a Navy Seal given the task of babysitting group of kids. Please, stifle your yawns. Anyway, it gets worse. He plays a Seal named Shane Wolfe -- a Special Forces advisor charged with a Top Secret assignment. Oh, hell, why bother regurgitating the sorry excuse for a plot? You get the picture -- it's a fish out of water flick, with a twist.
The mother load of the blame for this fiasco should be laid at the feet of Mr. Diesel, the real problem is with the script. Actually, it lies with the script, the executives who thought this mid-Nineties premise would work in the early Aughts, and the director. Who are these people? What are their names? Frankly, it doesn't matter -- and neither does this movie.
You'd be hard-pressed to find a more charismatic actor. Diesel has that elusive quality all great actors have: charisma. He's proved it in every picture leading up to The Pacifier. It was palpable in Saving Private Ryan, XXX, Fast and the Furious, and The Chronicles of Riddick. He has all the necessary ingredients to become the next big action star, on par with Stallone or Schwarzenegger.
The old adage seems to ring true: everyone has a price. And I wonder what Diesel's price for this flop was. I mean, he showed up, he read his lines, hit his marks -- he even tries to ham it up and make the film more than it is. But the problem isn't how hard Diesel tries, but how miscast he is. Ultimately, this reeking flop speaks for itself. And what does it say? Not much. It just echoes Kindergarten Cop and ends up stinking.
The story casts Diesel as a Navy Seal given the task of babysitting group of kids. Please, stifle your yawns. Anyway, it gets worse. He plays a Seal named Shane Wolfe -- a Special Forces advisor charged with a Top Secret assignment. Oh, hell, why bother regurgitating the sorry excuse for a plot? You get the picture -- it's a fish out of water flick, with a twist.
The mother load of the blame for this fiasco should be laid at the feet of Mr. Diesel, the real problem is with the script. Actually, it lies with the script, the executives who thought this mid-Nineties premise would work in the early Aughts, and the director. Who are these people? What are their names? Frankly, it doesn't matter -- and neither does this movie.
About the Author:
True, The Pacifier stinks. But, it's a good kind of stink, if you are in the mood.
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